cock_blocker_69

Do you even remember what caused you to create the user name that your email runs on? For most of us it was probably 8 years or so ago (and it was also most likely your very own name). I was called "scutter" through most of high school, therefore when I created my first hotmail account in grade 11, I named it scutterk. Scutter itself was already taken by probably a lesser version of me, alas a "K" compensated for differentiation for the time being.

So we created these very unoriginal emails like laura1212 or john_donkey@ such & such, and they just stuck. We are still using them to this day. In fact, think about how uneasy you would feel should someone ask you to switch your entire online identity (be it email or blog) because its narcissistic or maybe they just hate looking at your name. I would be rather annoyed with this request.

This is coming up because the overpriced internet cafe I linger in once a week has inspired me. I arrive there, eager to go on msn (who says its not addictive? oh wait..I did...7 posts ago) and check my emails, usually only from my father..and usually forwards about some texan finding the virgin mary in a box of chocolates. Three times now, however, when scutterk goes to log into msn messenger...there is already an addy in the box, paitiently awaiting a password. The email address I see is cock_blocker_69 followed by a very sexy picture above of whom I assumed was cock blocker himself. great abs!

Now I dont need to remind anyone that I live in the area of town where gays come to be more gay. And that after seeing 2 gay men physically fight in a cafe and watching them makeout shortly after, you get desensitized to the whole hammed up scene that gays play into. But that email really got to me. This is your identity. This is how people, family included, communicate with you. Do you really need to be so crude. YES, you do (I thought, allowing my imagination get the better of me) if, in fact, it was how you came out.

I can see little Johnny, aged 16, trying to come up with an email handle at this new phenonmenon "HOTMAIL!" John@ was taken. John_69@ was taken. damn. How is he going to come up with a cool freaky deaky name now? but then it hit him. He has been repressing his desires for some time now. Maybe this cyber identity would be the one way that little Johnny could show the world that he was not hetero. Cock_blocker_69 was the answer to a drawn-out inner battle of his sexual repression for the same gender. And forever, whilst typing on messenger and forwarding emails to his parents (for I assumed little johnny had no other email addy's on the go) he conveys loving cock, blocking cock and he would definately be into 69'ing.... with cock. Johnny has shown society what he's into. And thats pretty fucking cool.

Maybe I should change my email address to "Iamnotemo" and you will all get a window into my soul. My own nickname for my hotmail is too generic and perhaps its time to switch it up. Although then what would I be without belligerent people screaming "scutterk" outside my window at night? I would be nothing...

the cyber world is crazy shit folks.